


All About Chemistry

by Metal_Chocobo



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-01
Updated: 2012-02-01
Packaged: 2017-10-30 10:57:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/330991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Metal_Chocobo/pseuds/Metal_Chocobo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wanting to survive Gen Chem 103, Zelda finds herself working with an unusual lab partner. Here's hoping they don't blow up the chemistry building.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All About Chemistry

**Author's Note:**

> This story was based on my experiences as a freshmen in college. All the chemistry in this should be correct. 
> 
> Also, Semisonic is an amazing band.

“Aaaugh,” Zelda moaned as she opened the door. Then, when the door swung out of her grasp, she fell down hard.

“If you stay down there very long, I’ll step on you when I leave,” Midna said, not looking up from her computer.

“I’m a zombie.”

“Is that so? How bad was lab?”

Zelda shifted her goggles so that they didn’t cut into her throat from this position. “Lab is supposed to last three hours, it went three and a half. We had to chase down our teaching assistant—”

“TA.”

“I’m sorry, _TA_ , who had already left the chemistry building, so instead we just stuck it in his mailbox. I hope he gets it and doesn’t complain that we stuck it there too late. It was just one long awful pain after another and now my brain is fried.”

“That difficult?”

“No, the lab itself was easy, a little time consuming and we had a small explosion, but easy. The real problem was the fracking graphing program. I spent twenty minutes doing absolutely nothing because that program is so stupid. I hate computers!”

Midna quickly covered the built in microphone on her computer and gave Zelda a stern glare. Then she petted her computer and made cooing noises at it. “Zelda doesn’t really mean that, Twilly, she’s just frustrated and angry about her own incompetence.”

“Hey!”

Midna gave her another glare, which shot the blonde up quickly. Never enrage your personal computer doctor, especially if you only pay them in pixie sticks.

“Sorry, Midna, Twilly.”

“What’s your lab partner like? You didn’t say much about him last time.”

“He’s good in lab.”

“Is that like good in bed?” 

Zelda ignored her roommate’s needle. “As for everything else, he doesn’t care at all for calculations or writing things down, even though I know he’s intelligent.”

“Intelligent doesn’t mean hardworking.”

“I know, I just hope he doesn’t drag me down because his notes aren’t good.”

“Take a nap, it will improve your temperament,” Midna suggested.

“I suppose you’re right,” Zelda sighed, slowly getting to her feet. “I don’t want to spend another moment thinking about Link.”

* * *

“It’s not that hard to pipette.”

“Maybe not for you, but I’ve never had to manually pipette before,” Zelda grumbled, struggling with the rubber ball on the end of the glass cylinder. “We had automatic ones that were never this temperamental.” 

“It’s all about the touch,” Link said, expertly pulling up the right amount of liquid from the solution. He then added it to another beaker. “Stick that on the burner?”

“I can’t get it to light,” she said, struggling with the flint striker. With a sigh, Link grabbed the tool and lit the Bunsen burner single handedly.

Zelda carefully hooked the beaker up to the ring stand. She adjusted the Bunsen burner so that the flame was made up of two almost invisible blue cones of light, then let the solution sit. Soon it was bubbling and had turned pink.

They continued the experiment, measuring the mass of the formed precipitate. Other chemicals were combined on the Bunsen burner and more solids were measured. Somehow Zelda found herself mostly just weighing products and cleaning glassware. Normally that would have annoyed her, but the struggle with the pipette had her glad she wasn’t doing most of the experimental work.

After two and a half hours they finished the lab work. Zelda almost groaned when she looked at the lab report. It had them working on multiple math problems and an in depth procedure.

“I’ll figure out the math and you write out the procedure?” Link offered.

“We both need the mathematical equations in our notes,” Zelda argued. “Why should I be the one to write out the procedure?”

“Because I can’t figure out how to write it out without starting every sentence with ‘we’ and the guidelines specifically say not to do that,” Link said. “Besides, I’ll let you copy my work, if you write it slightly differently we’ll be fine, since math is basically the same no matter how you try to do it.”

“Writing procedures is easy,” Zelda said, “just start the sentence with the first noun and you easily delete the ‘we’ from the sentence. Like, instead of saying ‘we filled the volumetric flask with 10mL of sulfuric acid’ it can be turned into ‘the volumetric flask was filled with 10mL of sulfuric acid.’ See?”

“Huh?” Link said. “You know I’m struggling not to fail freshmen comp, right?”

“Give me that,” Zelda snapped, grabbing the report from Link.

They spent another hour working on the report. Link had finished the math ages ago and had written it onto the sheet. The procedure was also written out, but Zelda still had to stick the equations in her notes. She refused to simply copy Link’s work, but she needed to look at it to figure out what she was supposed to do. She told him that he could leave, but he said he’d stick around until the report could be turned in, his math expertise might be needed again.

“It’s done,” Zelda sighed. She grabbed Link’s notebook pages and stuck them behind her pages. The report went on top of all the pages. 

“Our TA left ten minutes ago,” Link said. “He said to stick the report on his desk in the TA office.”

“Where’s that?”

“Downstairs, I can take it.”

“How about you show me where it is.”

“Sure,” Link got off the bench they had been sitting on. “Follow me.” 

She got up and quietly followed. They went down a staircase and over to a door down the corridor. At the end there was a door with a plastic sign reading ‘TA’s Office’ on it. Link went in and Zelda followed suit. There were four large sturdy desks tightly crammed together.

“Which one is his?” she asked.

“Dunno, but we’ve got a twenty five percent chance of getting it right.” Link dropped the report on one of the desk after he borrowed a nearby stapler to put their report together. “All I know for certain is that each desk is used by six TAs, so no one is really allowed to keep their stuff here.”

“How do you know that?”

“I may be failing freshmen comp,” Link said, “but I know my chemistry. Plus the TAs tend to talk during lecture. Did you know that Ralis and Cremia are still squabbling over who gets to use their desk when?”

“Serious?”

“Yup. Shall we leave?”

As soon as the chemistry students were out of the building they parted ways. She was late getting out of lab again and all Zelda wanted to do was go home and sleep. She had done enough chemistry for one day.

* * *

“And so, bonding orbitals (sigma or pi) are lower in energy and as they fill up, we get bonds. So a single bond like the one between H's in H-H is composed of two electrons placed in the 1s sigma bonding orbital.” The professor said as he continued drawing on the fourth chalkboard.

Zelda tapped her pencil against her notebook; the lecture wasn’t making any sense to her. The professor’s accent had strengthened as he got into his subject, but he had yet to say how one could actually understand the difference between a boning and anti-bonding molecular orbital, or if he did say it, Zelda didn’t catch it.

As she looked around her in lecture she saw that everyone else had the same dazed expression on their faces as she did. She leaned over and asked the guy next to her if he knew what was going on when the professor paused in his lecture. The guy shook his head. That made her feel slightly better about not getting it.

“Anti-bonding orbitals are written as sigma* or pi*. They are higher in energy. For bonding you may have written ... Read Moreyour orbitals so there are some shading (phasing) especially for the p-orbitals. To make a bond, the two shaded portions come together. To make an anti-bond, one shaded portion and one nonshaded portion come together. When we put electrons into these orbitals, bonds get broken...”

By the time the lecture was over Zelda was seriously questioning her intelligence. Not a word had made sense to her, but she was supposed to be competent. As she left the building Link caught up to her.

“Some lecture, huh?” he said.

“I didn’t understand a bit of it,” Zelda admitted. “I mean, I understand the first stuff, but I don’t get the bonding.”

“I’ll explain everything,” Link said, “and I’ll do it without a single complicated word.”

“Okay,” Zelda said, vaguely intrigued.

They ended up sitting in a coffee shop, since Link said he had ‘cookie cravings’ and needed nourishment before he could explain the concept. Zelda had only ordered coffee, but Link had cookies, juice, and a muffin. They had a small booth in the back of the shop. It was comfortable.

“So do you remember the honeycomb shaped diagrams that were in the book?” Link asked, drawing a hexagon on the napkin with extended ends. “do you see these ends? They represent the original atoms, in this case, we’ll say two lithium atoms.”

“This bottom line is the sigma bond, so you stick two electrons in the bottom of this hexagon,” Link said, drawing two arrows on the bottom of the hexagon. “Then you put the next two electrons in the anti-bond or the sigma star bond.” He drew two arrows on the top of the hexagon. “However these are two lithium atoms, which have a total of six atoms and we have already filled up the sigma bond and the anti sigma bond. So we need to go on to the sigma bond.” Link drew one more honeycomb diagram and filled in the bottom line with two arrows.

“So all of the electrons are used up,” Zelda said.

“Yes, with the bottoms of the sigma diagrams filled in means that there are two bonds and one anti-bond in Li2 and since that means there are more bonds than anti-bonds, this molecule exists. Make sense?”

“How can I tell if they’re anti-bonds though?” 

“Well, the easiest method is to memorize the diagram. If you don’t recognize the diagram, just remember the bottom bonds, or the ones that need less energy and are thereby filled first, are the bonds and the anti-bonds are on the top. Okay?”

“Oh,” Zelda breathed in amazement. Suddenly she understood molecular orbital theory. They spent an hour practicing the diagrams until Zelda could do them in her sleep. 

After that they decided to leave. Since it was still winter, it was already dark out, despite the fact that it was only early afternoon. A strong gust of wind hit Zelda and she unconsciously shivered. It was freezing out and her coat wasn’t enough. 

“Here Zel,” Link said, handing over his sweatshirt to Zelda. At her look he added. “I can just run home and I’ll stay warm that way.”

Zelda grinned happily as she took the sweatshirt. She pulled it on over her coat and that actually warmed her up. She noticed it smelled like him when she took a deep whiff to unclog her nose. When Zelda looked up to thank Link she found that he was already gone.

* * *

“What do you think, Link?” Zelda asked as she carefully set down the model.

“I think you forgot to let me help you build it,” he said.

“This was payback for you writing and submitting the report without my knowledge.”

“Hey the report was the easy part,” Link said, laughing, “but this is… this is…” He leaned down and stared intently at the model.

The model was a mass of mini marshmallows and toothpicks. Each squishy little blob had one to four sticks piercing the outer layer. The most exciting part of the model however was that all of the molecular geometry was correct. Tethedrals, trigonal planar, trigonal pyramidal, and even a few bent atoms littered the molecule. Link brushed a triple bond with the tip of his finger and whistled.

“You made it all out of hydrogen,” Link declared.

“I did not,” Zelda said hotly, “Have you ever seen hydrogen make multiple bonds before?”

“I haven’t,” Link said, “but you must have discovered a new variant of hydrogen.”

“Why do you keep insisting that everything is hydrogen?”

“They’re all white aren’t they?” Link asked. He pulled a sheet of paper out of his backpack. “And since the instructions clearly say only to make hydrogen atoms white, it must be all hydrogen.”

Zelda snatched the paper from him. She scanned the instructions, wincing at the new information. Carbon atoms were supposed to be green, oxygen red, nitrogen yellow, hydrogen white, and all the other atoms were supposed to be grey.

“Bloody hell,” Zelda exploded, hitting her against the table. “We have to completely destroy my model.”

“We don’t necessarily have to,” Link said, pulling out a pack of markers. “Do you remember which atoms are which? Even if we can remember just a few, that means less model needs to be deconstructed.”

“I remember it all.”

“Excuse me?”

“I remember them all,” Zelda snapped. “You don’t tend to forget something after you spent eighteen hours of your weekend working on it. That doesn’t include all the time I spent working on the model Friday night and Midna stepped on it, destroying all my work. I can even prove it; like that marshmallow you’re touching is nitrogen. I remember that one because it was a pain angling the double and single bond with the invisible lone pair.”

Link pointed at another atom.

“Carbon.”

“What about this one?”

“Also carbon.”

“That one?”

“Oxygen… carbon, nitrogen, hydrogen, hydrogen, carbon, oxygen, hydrogen—can I stop now?”

“I have never been more turned on.”

Zelda smacked him across the back of his head. Link just grinned sheepishly. Then they got serious and began fixing the project. Zelda would point out the atom and say what it was and then Link would pull out the correct marker and color it. It took them over an hour and when they were finally done, they were late to class.

They got to class twenty minutes late. As punishment, their TA made them present their project, despite the fact no one else had to do so. At least Zelda knocked his socks off. While she hadn’t read the report, Zelda had learned a fair amount about the molecule (she practically built the damn thing herself). Link added on some useful information whenever Zelda paused.

The main focus was on the model. She heard one guy saying that he was screwed after seeing their model. It made Zelda feel pleased. When they were done the lab partners grinned and silently congratulated each other. They got a perfect score on the project.

* * *

“I’m so excited!” Zelda squealed, practically bouncing in place as she slapped her hands against the lap table counter. 

“I can see that,” Link laughed, “Can you open our drawer? I need to set up the experiment”

“Oh sure,” she said, pulling out the keys to their lab drawer and equipment. “I’m just so excited about being able to use a digital pipette again! It’s been two years since I used one of these babies and I was good.“ She hefted the little blue digital pipette and clicked its top a couple of times. “These are so much better than those sucky manual pipettes.”

“Since you’re so psyched about pipetting, you may do all of it,” Link said, giving a half bow.

“Thank you,” Zelda said, “and in exchange, you may do everything else. After all, the majority of the lab is pipetting.”

“Thank you. Now if you could just start pipetting out amounts in 1mL, 2mL, 4mL, 6mL, and 8mL of ethanol solution into the volumetric flask and turn each into a 10mL solution so that we can run it through the spectrometer.”

The first three solutions were created and tested easily. Then Zelda started running into problems. She had problems keeping track of how many increments of 1mL she had put in the volumetric flask. Zelda would count, when Link would talk to her or she would overhear another group and lose count. When she had to dump her third attempt of the 6mL ethanol solution down the drain, Link offered to do it himself.

“Be my guest,” Zelda said, handing the digital pipette over.

“Alright.” Link grinned confidently as he stuck the pipette into the ethanol stock. Unfortunately the tip wasn’t in far enough inside and he drew in air, ending up with bubbles in his sample. “Damn,” he said, trying again and again to correctly fill the pipette, but he couldn’t manage it. “How the hell do you do it so easily?” 

“I’m good at it, in fact, I have a gift.” She took back the pipette. “Now please shut up while I count out these amounts.”

“Here, I’ll help you out by counting. Uno, dos, tres, quatro, cinco, seis, siete… we were going for seis, Zel.”

“Damn it,” Zelda said, then brushing the hair out of her eyes she added just a little too brightly, “This will be the 8mL solution then.” Then she added the last milliliter of ethanol to the container. “Now will you add the water? You do consider yourself to be amazing at measuring out amounts manually.”

“Sure,” Link said, picking up the volumetric flask. He began pouring water slowly into the volumetric flask, but suddenly when the flask had narrowed to its thinnest, the water filled the space faster than it should have and Link went over the sample amount. He had to toss out the entire solution. After hitting his hand against the lab counter he handed the flask back to Zelda.

“I guess we are doing them in order,” Zelda said, starting to refill the container.

“I’m such an idiot,” Link muttered. “This is what I get for being cocky.”

“It’s no biggie, Link, we have another hour and a half before lab is over, we can easily redo things. Don’t sweat it, Link.”

Zelda quickly remade the sample. Surprisingly she managed to complete both samples without error. Link ran them both through the spectrometer and gave Zelda the correct readings. With these added to their notebooks the lab was done. 

As Link and Zelda cleaned up the materials, he accidently knocked over the ethanol onto their notebooks. The clear liquid quickly soaked into Link’s notebook and a bit of it seeped into Zelda’s notebook, which had been sitting right next to Link’s notebook.

“Fricking flipping frack,” Link snapped, shaking his notebook over the sink. “This is just not my day.”

“I’m sorry about that, Link,” she said, “but look on the bright side, we’ve only got an hour left before we can go home. The lab report doesn’t look too bad either.”

Lab was cleaned up without any more mishaps. The lab report was filled out no more errors and they even managed to turn it in before the TA left. Zelda was in high spirits by the time they were able to leave; she even cracked a joke or two on the way out. Before they parted way, Link apologized for his incompetence in lab today.

“It’s okay, Link,” Zelda said, tapping him on the forehead. “We all have our off days. You’re the only reason we made it through lab the first couple times because I was so off. Besides, I think all the blushing by the end of lab was really cute.”

Link’s jaw opened and shut several times before squeaking out, “Seriously?”

“Yup,” Zelda said. Grinning and giving a small wave, Zelda started walking away. Over her shoulder she called, “I’ll see you in discussion, Link!”

* * *

Zelda grinned as she slipped her lab report into her TA’s mailbox. It had been an online lab, about fish dying in a pond, and Zelda had loved it. There were interesting concepts involving heavy metal poisoning and all the theoretical science that she had grown to love over the years, but she didn’t have to touch a single dead gasping fish. It was wonderful. Then there was the little matter of the fact that this lab only took her two hours total and she was able to turn it in more than a day ahead of its due date.

She was about to leave when she heard whistling. It was a quick melody, sort of cheerful, but Zelda couldn’t place the tune. In walked Link still humming the tune. He paused when he saw her in surprise.

“Finish your lab?” he asked.

Zelda nodded. “I really liked the lab.”

“You know what I liked best about this lab?”

“No, what?”

“I could do the entire lab in just my underwear,” Link said, grinning.

“Seriously?” Zelda asked, glancing down at Link’s lower half. He was wearing shorts and flip-flops. “I’ve never seen you not wearing pants before, Link.”

“I tend to wear as little as possible outside of lab. I get too hot. The only reason I wear pants is because of lab regulations, and you know, I’d rather not spill hydrochloric acid on my leg and have it burn through my leg and make me sterile.”

“So you want kids?” Zelda asked.

“Course, Zelster,” Link said. “Not yet, but I want them. For now, it’s all about chemistry!” He began humming that song again.

“What are you singing?”

“All About Chemistry.” At Zelda’s lack of response he added, “By Semisonic.”

“Never heard of them.”

“Oh come on, they were a huge band in the 90s. 'Closing Time,' 'Singing in my Sleep,' 'Across the Great Divide' …you really don’t know any of this?”

“Sorry.” Zelda smiled ruefully. “Actually paying attention to bands in the 90s would have been difficult for me, I was just a little bit too young.”

“Well, yeah, I was in my single digits too, but you may still recognize the song.” He cleared his throat. “I remember when I found out about chemistry//It was a long, long way from here//I was old enough to want it, but younger than I wanted to be//Suddenly my mission was clear.”

Zelda just shook her head, failing to hide her grin. She really didn’t know the song, but Link was extremely entertaining to watch.

“So for awhile I conducted experiments//And I was amazed by the things I learned//From a fine fine girl with nothing but good intentions and a//Bad tendency to get burned//Oh-oh all about chemistry//Won't you show me everything you know//Ah wonder what you do to me//Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh!”

His melody was off. Zelda had some grasp of music and while she didn’t know the song, his pitch changed far too much to be part of the song. He was very energetic about it though, and he seemed truly happy about singing the song, despite the fact his vocal skills were on par with his writing skills.

“Some time later I met a young graduate//When I had nobody to call my own//I told her I was looking for somebody to appreciate//And I just couldn't do it alone// So for awhile we conducted experiments//In an apartment by the River Road//And we found out that the two things we put together had a//Bad tendency to explode.”

“Oh my god,” Zelda said, laughing. “this song is about—“

“Oh-oh,” Link howled, cutting her off, “All about chemistry//Won't you show me everything you've learned//I'll memorize everything you do to me so I can//Teach it when it comes my turn.”

Zelda shoved him, causing Link to take a step back. “I can’t believe you,” she said, unable to stop grinning. “You’re terrible.”

He smirked at her. “I’m not gonna stop until I finish the song.”

She made another grab for him, but Link easily sidestepped her. He leapt back until he was behind a pillar always away from her. Then, poking his head out, he sang, “So when I find myself alone and unworthy//I think about all of the things I learned from the//Fine fine women with nothing but good intentions and a//Bad tendency to get burned//Oh-oh, all about chemistry.”

He paused for a moment, then smacked himself in the forehead, “Damn, I forgot a few lines… Californian Waves?”

“Now I know you’re making it up,” Zelda said, tackling him.

A TA came out of the nearby lecture hall and glared at them. They got off the floor and left the Chemistry Building. They stood outside the front door feeling a little sheepish. Then Link suddenly started singing the same song again. Zelda chased him down the street.

She wasn’t able to catch him and it wasn’t fair. Link had much longer legs with strong calf muscles, she could see them working to keep him just far enough ahead that she could almost grasp him. He was able to sing, although his voice warbled more now. Zelda had a backpack weighing her down and while she was thin, she wasn’t athletic. Soon she had to stop running and just pant.

“Hey, are you alright?” he asked, tentatively touching her shoulder. 

“Fuck… you…” she wheezed.

“I did offer,” he said, smiling faintly, “sort of.”

Zelda glared at him. She decided not to say another word until she had her breathing under control.

Link yanked her backpack off her and slung it across his back. “Come on, I’ll walk you home. Where do you live?”

Zelda didn’t say anything. Her breathing was almost under control.

“Zelda, please, I didn’t mean to make you mad, I’m trying to fix things now.”

“I live in Sheikah.”

“Excellent.” As he said, Link walked her home. On the way there he never once made Zelda feel slow or weak for not keeping up. During the walk Link talked at great length about their shared professor and his lecture style.

When they reached Zelda’s dorm Link handed back her bag and apologized once more. He seemed extremely mournful at having caused her discomfort.

“I really did just mean to make you smile,” he said, “you’re always so serious and I think you would be much happier if you relaxed once in a while, loosened up.”

“Have you ever thought you were too loose?” Zelda asked.

“Never,” Link grinned. “My brother Dark is the loose one. Compared to him, I’m prim and proper.”

“Seriously?”

“Yup.”

“How far do you have to go to get home?” Zelda asked.

“Oh, just to Kokiri.” Link shrugged.

“Kokiri? But that’s all the way across campus. You just tripled your walk home.”

“Technically, since I wasn’t walking home when I walked you home, I only doubled it.”

“But why did you do that?”

“Because I like you Zelly, and lab partners don’t let lab partner… Actually, I have no idea what lab partners don’t let lab partners do, but the point is, you’re a friend and it was no trouble walking you home.”

Link scratched the back of his neck. “Well, I guess this is goodbye.” He slowly ambled away.

“I’ll see you in lecture!” Zelda called.

He paused, looking over his shoulder, he said, “Count on it.” Then he walked away. 

Yes, Zelda confirmed as she watched him move, Link had a nice ass.

* * *

On the day of the final exam, Zelda woke up feeling sick. What she really wanted to do was simply roll over and go back to sleep, perhaps get her stomach to settle that way, but she couldn’t. The exam was in an hour. Instead of her usual afternoon chemistry class, Zelda’s chemistry professor decided that he wanted to have the final bright and early in the morning. Whatever good graces he had with her had now vanished.

She crawled out of bed and showered, hoping the water would bring her out of her funk. It didn’t. Then to try and settle her queasy stomach she ate a few cheese curds from the care package her father sent her yesterday. She thought it helped a little and by the time she left her room she felt like she could take the final just fine, at least if her splitting headache didn’t get worse.

On the way to the chemistry building Zelda passed the dining hall. The smell of hash browns made her stomach turn and the urge to vomit nearly stopped her in her tracks. However, she didn’t stop and made it to the lecture hall where she was taking the exam with time to spare. She took a front seat, like she normally did, but this time she took the seat on the far left. She didn’t need to see the board, so where in the row she sat didn’t matter and having the corner seat meant there were less chances for people to cheat off of her.

Surprisingly, Link sat down next to Zelda. Actually, there was an empty seat between them, but that was the closest he could sit thanks to the seating arrangement rules. Grinning at her, Link waved his keaton topped pencil in greeting. She wanted to smile back, but she knew that if she did it would turn into a grimace. Instead she nodded at him, which she immediately realized was a mistake.

The test was passed out. As soon as the professor finished speaking they were allowed to begin. Zelda started working instantly. The test was multiple choice, but extremely math based, so she still had to completely solve a problem before she could tell what the answer was. After she had completed two problems Zelda began to feel better and more focused. She was going to be fine and she would nail this final.

It was then that she vomited. She felt it coming up and even lifted a hand to stop it, but once a body started vomiting, it was completely defenseless until it was done. Bitty yellow chunks ended up all over her clothes, the exam, and the floor. When she was finished Zelda tried not to cry. She picked up her pen again and started working on the exam. This was her one and only chance to take the final and she couldn’t skip it. Vaguely, Zelda was pleased that she had sat in the front row, since it meant her vomit wouldn’t be sliding down the steps hitting other people’s shoes.

A few moments later she heard the screeching of one of the desk tops being moved. Papers rustled and she heard Link quietly hissing that he was done. Then she saw his feet in his stupid flip-flops standing in her vomit. She started crying.

“Come on,” he whispered, grasping her shoulders. 

When he pulled at her she rose without any resistance. She clung to her test as Link led her out of the crowded lecture hall. He kept whispering that it was going to be alright despite the fact that she was sobbing and covered in her own vomit.

They ended up in the girl’s bathroom. Link told her to wash up; it would make her feel better. She started mechanically scrubbing at her blouse after splashing water on her face. After a moment Zelda asked him why he was in the girls’ bathroom.

“I am not leaving you alone when you’re in this state,” Link said. “Besides, the girls’ bathroom is full of stalls, so even if we weren’t alone in here, it wouldn’t make a difference.”

“What about your test?” Zelda asked. “The test only started twenty minutes ago, there’s no way you could have possibly finished it in time.”

“I did Zelly,” Link said, “I’m majoring in math and this course just requires basic math skills. Eighty percent of the problems on the final were math based, so it was a breeze. I finished the test before coming to help you… frankly, I feel a little guilty I didn’t get up sooner to help.”

Zelda started crying again. Link pulled her against his chest and just let her sob. He was too nice to her, simply too good. The door to the bathroom opened and Cremia, one of the other TAs Zelda didn’t know very well. She told Link that she could take over caring for Zelda and that Link should get out of the girls’ toilet. Link promised to come back with his sweatshirt in a bit; Zelda would probably want to change out of her cheese-covered blouse.

“Are you alright?” Cremia asked, “I know finals can be stressful, maybe you need to learn some stress techniques before your next exams.”

“It’s not stress,” Zelda said, rolling her shoulders. “In fact I feel much better now, so I could finish the test.”

Cremia held up the soaked and stained test. “I think we would all prefer it if you got a new test.”

“…right.”

“Why don’t you got home to shower and change, then come back and retake the test, if you’re feeling up to it.”

“I can do that? I thought I had to take it now, otherwise not at all.”

“What’s your name again? I’m sorry, I have a hard time remembering the names of people outside of my discussions.”

“It’s Zelda.”

“Zelda, you came on time to take the exam and you started it before you threw up in class. That is a viable excuse to retake it.”

“Okay, yeah, that sounds good,” Zelda said, nodding weakly.

There was a knock on the bathroom door. Link called, “Zelly, I’ve got my sweatshirt if you want it.”

Zelda came over to the door and opened it. She accepted the sweatshirt. After agreeing to come back around two, Cremia left the room. She quickly changed into the sweatshirt then washed her face again once more. There was still vomit on her pants, but she certainly felt much better.

When she exited the bathroom, Link was waiting for her. He got up off the floor and handed over her things. Zelda thanked him for getting her bag. There was no way she wanted to enter that lecture hall again after she had made a fool of herself just now.

“How are you feeling?” Link asked, keeping pace with her. “Can I do anything to help? Do you want me to carry your bag?”

“Link, all I need from you is for you to just be there,” Zelda said. “Thank you so much for everything.” She shook her head as they left the building. “I just need a hot shower and then everything will be right again in my world. You’ve always been so good to me, Link.”

“I wish I could help more,” Link said. “Zelda, you’re my best friend.”

“I’m your best friend, huh?” she asked. “How did I get that honor so quickly.”

“Because you’re just so… so you,” Link said, chuckling. “I hate seeing you not at your best.”

“Because I always have to be at my best?”

“You’re twisting my words, Zel.”

She turned toward him suddenly, her hair hitting him in the face. “So what exactly are your words?” Before he could answer however, Zelda underwent a repeat performance. Right on Link’s shirt. He held her hair out of the way and waited until she was done.

“I want to be there to hold your hair when you vomit,” he said, “preferably, I won’t have to do that very often.” Then he kissed her.

“You kissing me right after I vomited is grosser than the fact I just vomited,” Zelda said, feeling utterly disgusted. 

They walked back to Zelda’s dorm building. She invited him in to borrow a shower, since she had vomited all over him. When they arrived at her dorm room Link was amazed to see that she had a bathroom in her dorm room.

“This is so fracking neat,” he gushed, peering into the bathroom. “You’ve even got a shower in here.”

“This was kinda why I chose Sheikah,” Zelda said. “It’s more money, but I only have to share a bathroom with one person. I like the privacy. Oh yes, and since it’s my bathroom, I get the first shower.”

“Cool,” Link agreed.

When Zelda came out in her bathrobe after showering, she gave Link her spare towel. He took it grinning and went into the bathroom. Soon she could hear the water running. Since Link was now indisposed, she dressed in her comfort clothes. Then she sat down at her computer and began checking her email.

A little while later the front door opened and Midna came into the dorm room. Zelda looked up and said hello when she came in. Midna looked surprised.

“Didn’t you have an exam?” Midna asked.

“I did and I went, but then I threw up,” Zelda said. “So I rescheduled and came home to shower and dress.”

“Did you forget to turn off the shower?” Midna asked, sitting down in front of her dear Twilly. A moment later the water turned off. “I guess you didn’t,” she said.

A moment later Link appeared. He was only wearing a towel and water was still trickling down his face and chest from his hair. He looked a little surprised to see Midna, but he still directed his question to Zelda as if they were still alone.

“Got any spare clothing I can borrow?” he asked, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t think my pants are in too bad of shape, but I really don’t want to put my shirt back on.”

“Ah… yeah,” Zelda said, digging into one of her drawers. She had kept the oversized sweatshirt Link lent her a couple of months ago in lecture, but now would be a great time to return it.

“Here,” Midna said, tossing an oversized sweatshirt with a keaton on it to Link.

Link wasn’t expecting Midna to throw something to him, so he ended up needing both hands to catch the cloth. That also meant that he let go of his towel. It slipped a bit, showing off more of his pelvic line and a slight bit of light gold hair. Zelda couldn’t help but stare at the edge of the towel. Sadly, Link quickly grabbed the towel again and yanked it up.

“Thanks,” he said before disappearing back into the bathroom.

“Are you certain you aren’t in your exam only because you just threw up?” Midna asked.

“Tell you what, if I need to vomit again any time soon, I’ll vomit on you,” Zelda promised. “Now will you drop it?”

“Can you explain why that gorgeous man is nude in our bathroom?”

“I vomited on him, okay?”

“…and you’re not in there with him?” Midna finished.

Zelda’s jaw dropped. “Excuse me? I am not sleeping with my lab partner.”

“Maybe you should be.”

Link emerged from bathroom in sweatshirt and boxers. Scratching the back of his head Link looked from person to person. It was like he could feel the tension between the girls. 

“Should I leave now?” he asked.

“Shouldn’t you put on some actual pants?” asked Midna.

He looked down and then shrugged. “I’m wearing underwear and they aren’t holey at all, so I should be fine going home.” He waved goodbye before picking up his pants, slipping his feet into his shoes, and walked out the door. Midna gave Zelda a look, which made Zelda realize that she probably needed to walk Link out or else he might get lost and get in trouble.

Zelda got up and followed him out. She quickly caught up to him before Link left the building. “So Link,” she said, just outside of the building. “Did you mean what you said earlier?”

“Every word,” Link said grinning. He stroked her cheek. “I don’t know how it happened, but I fell in love with you, Zelly. I think I knew it since the time you made our molecule and were able to name all the unlabeled parts. I know, this is really weird and lab partners shouldn’t suddenly start spouting their undying affection for each other, but it’s true. I am truly madly deeply in love with you. I don’t want this to be the last day I ever see you.”

“This won’t be the last day you see me, the campus isn’t that huge.”

“That’s not the point. The point is I’ve never wanted to be with someone as much as I want to be with you. And I get it, I’m just a friend, a casual acquaintance really, and you’re sick and stressed from finals. But I’m a hair’s length from losing my chance at telling you how I feel and I’m not losing it. If we don’t have any chemistry between us—and it’s totally okay if we don’t, I get it—but I think there is and I’m taking that chance.”

“Will you come wait for me to finish my retake this afternoon?” Zelda asked. “Then maybe go out for dry toast, apple sauce and other non vomit inducing foods?”

“I’ll be there,” Link said, beaming. His face looked radiant to her, absolutely angelic. If she had ever had any doubts about Link’s motives, they were vaporized that instant.

“You know,” Zelda said, suddenly feeling very shy, “I did brush my teeth earlier, to get rid of the taste and all that…”

Link got the hint. He bent down and kissed her. Unlike his previous chaste little kiss, this one had tongue. She buried her hands in his hair. They probably would have kept making out, right in front of Sheikah on the busiest street on campus, while blocking the main entrance to the dorm, but there was a click noise and a flash of bright white light.

“It’s a cute picture,” Midna said, admiring her shot. “I really dig the pony print underwear.”

That was how Zelda became the front-page subject of the online zine, _Twilight Princess_. The article was a best seller and actually won Midna a minor journalist award. Oddly enough the story was titled after a song by a hip 90s band. The title was something familiar, something that had taken on a special significance to Zelda over the years, something about chemistry.


End file.
